A Short story about a part of my life:
Since the beginning of this year, I've been thinking a lot about feelings and expression. So here it goes......
I remember love, unconditional. Cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie. Looking into each other's eyes and smiling because together, anything is possible. Kisses for longer than two seconds. Romantic poetry being recited to someone on special days. Just all around being loved, giving it openly, and not missing a beat on anything that is important to the other person. I miss that mooshy stuff. I loved being held for an uncomfortable amount of time. Having a passionate mind-set is great for a lot of people, snd relationships. I'm a passionate and very erotic kind of person, so stagnicity isn't something that I resonate with when it comes to relationships. I don't settle, I don't like drama, and I most certainly enjoy being appreciated for what I do for others.
When I see someone who truly wants to help themselves and the person they are with, my heart soars with happiness. The green light that I can project from my heart space is unfathomable. I remember many relationships I've been in that have told me things like:
-You're too intense.
Or
-I'm not ready for something serious right now.
Or
-You smother me too much.
So guess what? I became cold, calculated and introverted where emotions can sometimes be not seen at all. I'm sharing this for a reason. Anyway, I was physically abused, neglected and rejected so much that at one point in my life I started feeling like nobody loved me and that if I died, not one person would care in any way. So I got into spiritual practices. Learned a lot and am still learning to this day, but really missing out on that gooey stuff in life that will make your heart fly on the winds of happiness, off in the sunset and just immensely hugging you to sleep at night. Self love is one of the most important things to be able to do for yourself within this life cycle. But what's even better is being with someone that shares your views, your vision and your journey with you, side by side. Now, I'm reaching deep inside of myself to maybe, just maybe touch one heart somewhere out there. Open your eyes people. It's put there. Happiness has mostly to do with what you allow in your life and how you work your passions into life.
Now I'm getting there, and you can too. I just remember how happy I was about 10 years ago. I don't know what happened, but this year I'm getting it back no matter what. My happiness is as important to me than all of yours is to me. I thank you for reading this. Maybe you will remember how it was, and reach for it again. Miserable people stay miserable if they don't change the dynamic of their existence. Change the mindset and change the environment entirely. Let happiness and love be your guide, and allow abundance to flow freely in your life. Choice, Acceptance, Sharing and truly giving a shit about other people is some of the best things to get to living a better life.
I hope this has touched you in a way like it touched me to write it.
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